Dictionary of Cari

Here is where you’ll find my own personal dictionary, a little in-progress project that exists for the sheer purpose of defining the world as I see it.  Reality ain’t always what’s in Webster’s, folks, so let me break it down for you.

Lit Snob [lit snob]:  noun, one who acts superior in matters of taste regarding written works that are considered to be very good and to have lasting importance.

          Example #1:  “He acts like such a lit snob, but he only carries the book around, he never actually reads it.”

          Example #2:  “He’s such a lit snob, he won’t admit that he never finished Ulysses, either.”

          Example #3:  “If that lit snob makes fun of my books one more time, I’m going to punch him in the face.”

Writing Envy [rahy-ting en-vee]: noun, an acute feeling of covetousness with regard to another writer’s idea, plot, characters, or style.

            Example #1: “Holy shit, why didn’t I think of that!?”

            Example #2: “Damn it, I wish I had come up with that character!”

            Example #3: “I despair, for that writer’s writing puts mine to shame!”

Middle Child Syndrome (mid-l chahyld sin-drohm]:  noun, a son or daughter displaying a group of symptoms (feelings of unfairness, dramatics, extreme stubbornness, abundant creativity, swings between confidence and self-loathing, humorous, quick on the uptake, occasional crazy eyes) characteristic of the disorder of being born between two or more siblings.  (Note:  while popular opinion associates this disorder with low self-esteem, many with middle child syndrome vehemently disagree.  And if one continues to insist on such connotations, the middle child will show you just how confident he really is.  The author of this entry highly recommends that you duck.  Now.)

            Example #1:  “Yeah, he’s batshit.  He can’t help it; he’s got a wicked case of middle child syndrome.”

            Example #2:  “I’m so proud!  My oldest is a doctor, my youngest just got married, and my other one…well, she’s still alive.”

            Example #3:  “FUCK YOU!  DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF!”



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